how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
