If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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