Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
