laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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