used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
