508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
