i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
