Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
They took my balls.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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