True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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