She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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