I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
