if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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