Just cropdusted the office
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
