Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
send nudes
from the living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
