but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
