My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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