I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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