Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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