i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
