I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
