she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
