is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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