Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
