he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
