if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
