Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
