cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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