Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
