We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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