i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
