is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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