it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
