It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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