I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize