You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
