You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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