As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
