I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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