Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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