I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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