She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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