he shaved USA in his pubs
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize