oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You took a bar mat shot.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
