Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
