Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We are all done wearing pants today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
