consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
