when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
