Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
