I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
