If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
is it fun? or sober?
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