just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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