So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
