google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
