I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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