i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
NoShamevember. You game?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
