So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
