I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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