I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize