I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
