did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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