At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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